Albert J. Bernstein citáty

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Albert J. Bernstein

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Citáty Albert J. Bernstein


„Stane-li se, že se vám někdo v určitých ohledech podobá, neznamená to, že má na srdci váš prospěch.“ Citoví upíři

„Paranoid vampires don’t understand the concept of trust. They never seem to realize that trust is supposed to be in their own minds, rather than in the actions of other people. Consequently, if you’re close to one of these vampires, you’ll have to re-earn his or her trust every hour on the hour. This is especially true if your relationship is sexual. A Paranoid vampire’s idea of foreplay is 20 minutes of questioning about exactly what you were thinking the last time you made love.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry


„Don't let a Narcissist, or any other kind of vampire, get away with nonverbal disapproval. Unspoken communication has much more power than mere words because it is ambiguous. If a Narcissist says you did something wrong, you can at least disagree. If he only hints at it, you are left wondering if what you're seeing really means what you think it does, or if the whole thing is somehow your fault, or whatever else you might be imagining.... Translate rather than pointing the finger. This is the tricky part because it is subtle, but it will make all the difference. An unsubstantiated accusation of an internal state, like, "You're bored," invites defensiveness. A translation, like, "You keep looking at the clock; I'm assuming you're bored," is much harder to deny. A Histrionic might try, but other kinds of vampires will have to concede that they are indeed looking at the clock.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

„Life offers a cruel choice: you can be right or happy. Not both. This is true regardless of whom you may be involved with, but it is especially true if there is an emotional vampire in your life.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

„In graduate school, I learned this simple distinction: when people are driving themselves crazy, they have neuroses or psychoses. When they drive other people crazy, they have personality disorders.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

„To be psychologically healthy, we have to believe that what we do has some effect on what happens to us. Even if the perception of control is delusional, it usually leads to more productive action than believing that what we do makes no difference.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

„Never answer a why question! You will suddenly discover that the discussion has changed to a critique and defense of your reasons, and your original statement has suddenly changed to a tentative proposition that you will be allowed to keep only if your reasons are good enough.... The purpose of a why question is never to understand your reasoning, it is to elicit words that can be twisted. If you don't give them, there'll be nothing to twist. Remember, the answer to a why question is an explanation, and explaining always makes angry situations worse.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

„Know the Impression You Want to Make. You know you’re great, but what, specifically, makes you great? Is it your competence? Your experience? Your creativity? Your diligence and responsibility? Your enthusiastic personality? Or is it all of the above? Whatever you have going for you, you will need to demonstrate those traits in the interview, not just mention them. You can’t do this by waiting for the interviewer to ask you if you are diligent and responsible. You will have to be diligent and responsible in preparing for the interview.“ Am I The Only Sane One Working Here?: 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity


„While you're taking your minute to think, consider the possible outcomes. Immediately discard any that involve making the Bully back down and admit that you're right. You cannot be right and effective at the same time.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

„When you try to extinguish a tantrum by ignoring it, the first response you always get is called an extinction burst. People will do whatever it is you are trying to ignore louder, longer, and more enthusiastically. This might make you believe that ignoring them isn't working, but what it actually means is that it is.“ Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry

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