„You wanna show them that you're really not scared,
You're playing with your life, this ain't no truth or dare,
They'll kick you then they'll beat you then they'll tell you it's fair,
So beat it.“
— Michael Jackson American singer, songwriter and dancer 1958 - 2009
— George Bernard Shaw Irish playwright 1856 - 1950
Credited to Shaw in the lead in to the mockumentary C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004) and other recent works, but this or slight variants of it are also sometimes attributed to W. C. Fields, Charlie Chaplin, and Oscar Wilde. It might possibly be derived from Shaw's statement in John Bull's Other Island (1907): "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." Another possibility is that it is derived from Shaw's characteristic of Mark Twain: "He has to put things in such a way as to make people who would otherwise hang him believe he is joking." Variants: If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you. If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
„Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be to tell them that they're fat. They'll laugh because anorexic people aren't fat. HAHAH“
— Maddox American internet writer 1978
Pranks to try on people in the hospital! http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=jokes
„"You want to know about the last tomb? [Conway] asked Pierce. "I'll tell you." He tapped the white cranium. "That's the last tomb, man. Right there, and you're buried there all your life. You can't escape it."“
— Michael Crichton American author, screenwriter, film producer 1942 - 2008
— James D. Watson American molecular biologist, geneticist, and zoologist. 1928
As quoted in "Nobel Winner's Theories Raise Uproar in Berkeley", by Tom Abate, San Francisco Chronicle (13 November 2000) http://www.sfgate.com/science/article/Nobel-Winner-s-Theories-Raise-Uproar-in-Berkeley-3236584.php
„Mo: Uh… sorry. I was just wondering why you're… you know… using that if normally you just use crutches.
Thea: Well, the chair is so much more dramatic, don't you think? I use it when I want people to feel extra sorry for me.“
— Alison Bechdel American cartoonist, author 1960
#124, "...A Rolling Donut" (1991), collected in DTWOF: The Sequel (1992).
„Life is short. People are not easy to know. They're not easy to know, so if you don't tell them how you feel, you're not going to get anywhere, I feel.“
— Nina Simone American singer, songwriter, pianist, arranger, and civil rights activist 1933 - 2003
„Cause when you're fifteen
And somebody tells you they love you,
you're gonna believe them.
And when you're fifteen,
Feeling like there's nothing to figure out,
Well count to ten, take it in.
This is life before you know
Who you're gonna be,
— Taylor Swift American singer-songwriter 1989
„A lot of people who are in the movie business don't really know much about movies, and they certainly don't know movie history. You have to even find a code when you're talking to these people—you can't use the references that you would use when talking to somebody who knows movie history. When you go in to pitch something, it depends what you invoke. You can't invoke anything really before 1980 with these people because they don't know what you're talking about. It's limiting. They get annoyed. They get offended that you are somehow trying to expose the fact that they don't know things, and make them feel inadequate. Which is of course not the point, or why you do it.“
— Joe Dante film director 1946
"Fun, Yes, But By No Means Civilized": Interview with Joe Dante (Part 2) https://mubi.com/notebook/posts/fun-yes-but-by-no-means-civilized-interview-with-joe-dante-part-2 (July 8 2009)
„Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.“
— Jay Leno American comedian, actor, writer, producer, voice actor and television host 1950
„If you can't tell your sister,
If you can't tell a priest,
'Cause it's so deep you don't think that you can speak about it
Can you tell it to your heart?
Can you find it in your heart
To let go of these feelings…“
— Kate Bush British recording artist; singer, songwriter, musician and record producer 1958