„Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be to tell them that they're fat. They'll laugh because anorexic people aren't fat. HAHAH“

—  Maddox

Pranks to try on people in the hospital! http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=jokes
The Best Page in the Universe

Poslední aktualizace 22. května 2020. Historie
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Maddox69
American internet writer 1978

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James D. Watson foto

„Whenever you interview fat people, you feel bad, because you know you're not going to hire them.“

—  James D. Watson American molecular biologist, geneticist, and zoologist. 1928

As quoted in "Nobel Winner's Theories Raise Uproar in Berkeley", by Tom Abate, San Francisco Chronicle (13 November 2000) http://www.sfgate.com/science/article/Nobel-Winner-s-Theories-Raise-Uproar-in-Berkeley-3236584.php

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„If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you.“

—  George Bernard Shaw Irish playwright 1856 - 1950

Credited to Shaw in the lead in to the mockumentary C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004) and other recent works, but this or slight variants of it are also sometimes attributed to W. C. Fields, Charlie Chaplin, and Oscar Wilde. It might possibly be derived from Shaw's statement in John Bull's Other Island (1907): "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world."
Another possibility is that it is derived from Shaw's characteristic of Mark Twain: "He has to put things in such a way as to make people who would otherwise hang him believe he is joking."
Variants:
If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.
Disputed

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Harlan Ellison foto

„If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.“

—  Harlan Ellison American writer 1934 - 2018

As quoted in The Volta Review (1934), p. 574 http://books.google.de/books?id=qWE4AQAAIAAJ&q=hate, Clifton Fadiman: The American Treasury 1455-1955 (New York 1955) p. 997 http://books.google.de/books?id=PEQ4AAAAIAAJ&q=really+make+them and Hugh Rawson, Margaret Miner: The Oxford Dictionary of American Quotations (2006) p. 431 #5 http://books.google.de/books?id=whg05Z4Nwo0C&pg=PA431&dq=mehitabel from archy and mehitabel (1927)

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„If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.“

—  Don Marquis American writer 1878 - 1937

As quoted in The Volta Review (1934), p. 574 http://books.google.de/books?id=qWE4AQAAIAAJ&q=hate, Clifton Fadiman: The American Treasury 1455-1955 (New York 1955) p. 997 http://books.google.de/books?id=PEQ4AAAAIAAJ&q=really+make+them and Hugh Rawson, Margaret Miner: The Oxford Dictionary of American Quotations (2006) p. 431 #5 http://books.google.de/books?id=whg05Z4Nwo0C&pg=PA431&dq=mehitabel from archy and mehitabel (1927)
Varianta: If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.

Sarah Mlynowski foto
André Leon Talley foto

„Most of the Vogue girls are so thin, tremendously thin, because Miss Anna don't like fat people.“

—  André Leon Talley American journalist 1949

[United Press International, Vogue fat comment raises group's ire, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, 2005-09-19, http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/s_375745.html, 2007-04-24]

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Jonathan Maberry foto
Leo Tolstoy foto

„Tell people that war is an evil, and they will laugh; for who does not know it? Tell them that patriotism is an evil, and most of them will agree, but with a reservation.“

—  Leo Tolstoy Russian writer 1828 - 1910

Patriotism, or Peace? http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism,_or_Peace%3F (1896), translated by Nathan Haskell Dole
Variant:
I have already several times expressed the thought that in our day the feeling of patriotism is an unnatural, irrational, and harmful feeling, and a cause of a great part of the ills from which mankind is suffering, and that, consequently, this feeling – should not be cultivated, as is now being done, but should, on the contrary, be suppressed and eradicated by all means available to rational men. Yet, strange to say – though it is undeniable that the universal armaments and destructive wars which are ruining the peoples result from that one feeling – all my arguments showing the backwardness, anachronism, and harmfulness of patriotism have been met, and are still met, either by silence, by intentional misinterpretation, or by a strange unvarying reply to the effect that only bad patriotism (Jingoism or Chauvinism) is evil, but that real good patriotism is a very elevated moral feeling, to condemn which is not only irrational but wicked.
What this real, good patriotism consists in, we are never told; or, if anything is said about it, instead of explanation we get declamatory, inflated phrases, or, finally, some other conception is substituted for patriotism – something which has nothing in common with the patriotism we all know, and from the results of which we all suffer so severely.
Patriotism and Government http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Patriotism_and_Government (1900)
Kontext: Tell people that war is an evil, and they will laugh; for who does not know it? Tell them that patriotism is an evil, and most of them will agree, but with a reservation. "Yes," they will say, "wrong patriotism is an evil; but there is another kind, the kind we hold." But just what this good patriotism is, no one explains.

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