„people will tell you were they have gone, they'll tell you where to go, but until you get there for yourself you never really know.“

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„If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you.“

—  George Bernard Shaw Irish playwright 1856 - 1950
Credited to Shaw in the lead in to the mockumentary C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America (2004) and other recent works, but this or slight variants of it are also sometimes attributed to W. C. Fields, Charlie Chaplin, and Oscar Wilde. It might possibly be derived from Shaw's statement in John Bull's Other Island (1907): "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." Another possibility is that it is derived from Shaw's characteristic of Mark Twain: "He has to put things in such a way as to make people who would otherwise hang him believe he is joking." Variants: If you are going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you. If you're going to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh. Otherwise, they'll kill you.

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„If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.“

—  Virginia Woolf English writer 1882 - 1941
"The Leaning Tower", lecture delivered to the Workers' Educational Association, Brighton (May 1940)

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