Dylan Moran citáty
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Dylan Moran
Datum narození: 3. listopad 1971
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Dylan Moran je irský komik, herec a scenárista, držitel cen BAFTA a Perrier Award.
České publikum si ho oblíbilo jako Bernarda Blacka ze seriálu Black Books, na kterém se podílel také jako scenárista. Moran pravidelně vystupuje na národních a mezinárodních festivalech komedie včetně Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Just for Laughs Montreal Comedy Festival, The Melbourne International Comedy Festival a The Kilkenny Comedy Festival.
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americký kytarista a zpěvákCitáty Dylan Moran
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„It's a myth that men don't have their own version of PMT, of course they do - every woman knows this. It's a very simple experiment to conduct, all you've got to do is be with a man, wait until he starts doing something and then go up and talk to him. "WHAT?! What is it now?! I'm opening fish fingers can't you see?! You come in here, walking on the floor - breathing the air like it's yours - talking and talking and I'm doing something! Look they've fallen on the floor, are you happy?! Are you happy now?! Every time I try anjd do something for myself, you carbonize and then shit on my dreams... You're just like your whhhvjnvnbbbnjhhuh. N xfdhjnole family! Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?!"“
— Dylan Moran
On male "periods".
„WHAT'S WRONG WITH US?! We're the only organism the planet is actively asking to fuck off! By burning things, and freezing things, and melting things on us! It's like going past the ocean and seeing it spit out whales, "Fuck off, I've had enough of you!" Passing the eucalyptus tree as the koalas hang on, the tree's going [Swaying violenty] "Get - the fuck - away - from me!"“
— Dylan Moran
On climate change.
„Or Berlusconi, in Italy, right; the envy of the world, Italy, in terms of history, art and culture, 98 different political parties, and they still managed to elect him! He’s so fucking crooked he sleeps on a spiral staircase! So thoroughly corrupt, every time he smiles an angel gets gonorrhoea! He's had so many face-lifts, his face has moved to the top of his head, you have to get on a step-ladder to watch him lie!“
— Dylan Moran
On Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi.
„My ideal body, you know, would be just probably something like, ahm... One eye, you probably only need one. A kind of sucker thing instead of teeth, because they just give you grief in the end, you know. And a long, long tube with my arse way over there so I don't have to deal with it. That would be ideal.“
— Dylan Moran
Describing ideal body.
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„People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know… People— I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Here... Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move you eyes down to where you nipples used to be, put you breasts up on your head, EVERYBODY will pay attention!“
— Dylan Moran
On implants.
„I asked a women I was with once, simple question, I asked her 'Have you ever eaten pheasant?' See, it's direct, isn't it?! It's enclosed, it contains everything that needs to be said! And she said a wonderful thing. She said "Erm..."—she thought about it—and she said "Er, not really." What does that mean? On any level? I mean, did you suck it and throw it away? Did someone drop it in your drink? What happened? Was it a speeding car, one lick? WHAT, WHAT?!?!“
— Dylan Moran
On women.
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