Joan Rivers citáty

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Joan Rivers

Datum narození: 8. červen 1933
Datum úmrtí: 4. září 2014
Další jména: Joan Riversová

Joan Rivers, rodným jménem Joan Alexandra Molinsky byla americká herečka. Narodila se do židovské rodiny rodičům, kteří do New Yorku emigrovali z Ruska. Nejprve studovala na Connecticut College, ale později přešla na Barnard College, kde v roce 1954 získala diplom z anglické literatury. Svou hereckou kariéru zahájila koncem padesátých let. Od roku 2010 byla jednou z moderátorů pořadu Fashion Police; rovněž moderovala pořad In Bed with Joan vysílaný přes YouTube. V letech 1965 až 1987 byl jejím manželem producent Edgar Rosenberg.


„Muž může spát s kdekterou a nic se neděje, když to ale 19krát nebo 20krát nevyjde ženě, je hned coura.“

„A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.“


„I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.“

„It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.“

„If God wanted us to bend over he would put diamonds on the floor“

„I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make
it through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'll
make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark
the present.“

„I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.“

„The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.“


„She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.“

„People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.“

„I knew I was an unwanted child when my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.“

„I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays“


„Ginger did everything Fred did, only backwards and in High Heels!“

„It's obvious that women are smarter than men. Think about it - diamonds are a girl's best friend; man's best friend is a dog.“

„Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.“

„I’m tired of dealing with crazies. When did it become my job to manage your mental illness?“ Diary of a Mad Diva

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