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Etgar Keret

Datum narození: 20. srpen 1967

Etgar Keret je izraelský spisovatel. Stěžejní část jeho díla tvoří povídky, věnuje se však také psaní scénářů, poezie, divadelních her a komiksů.

„Vždycky jsem psal z dětského úhlu pohledu, ale najednou já sám mám dítě, takže dítě se stává někým jiným, tím druhým. Vždycky jsem říkával, že dětem rozumím, protože já sám jsem takový, ale teď když mám sám doma dítě, začínám chápat, že jim nerozumím ani trochu.“

„It's amazing how people can sound like retards when they're talking to their girlfriend, especially if they really love her a lot. Because when you're just fucking someone you make a point of keeping your cool, but when you're really in love - it can sound pretty repulsive.“ The Nimrod Flipout: Stories

„There are two kinds of people, those who like to sleep next to the wall, and those who like to sleep next to the people who push them off the bed.“ The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God & Other Stories

„Translators are like ninjas. If you notice them, they’re no good.“

„For three months,
a person sits and looks at you,
imagining a kiss.“

„According to Gur's theory of boredom, everything that happens in the world today is because of boredom: love, war, inventions, fake fireplaces - ninety-five percent of all that is pure boredom.“ The Nimrod Flipout: Stories

„When you're having an asthma attack, you don't have any breath. When you don't have any breath, it's hard to speak. You're limited by the amount of air you can spend from your lungs. That's not much, something between three to six words. It gives the word a meaning. You're searching through the piles of words in your head, picking the most important ones. And they have a cost. It's not like the healthy people that take out every word that has accumulated in their head like garbage. When someone, while having an asthma attack, says "I love you" or "I really love you", there's a difference. A word difference. And a word is a lot, because that word could have been "sit", "Ventolin" or even "ambulance".“ צינורות

„If you want to learn how to be happy, you have to know what is sadness first.“ Missing Kissinger

„A word is a lot.“

„He felt full of a dense and sour substance that was blocking his chest, and it wasn't grief. After all those years, life now seemed like no more than a trap, a maze, not even a maze, just a room that was all walls, no door.“ Gaza Blues: Different Stories

„And she loved a man who was made out of nothing. A few hours without him and right away she’d be missing him with her whole body, sitting in her office surrounded by polyethylene and concrete and thinking of him. And every time she’d boil water for coffee in her ground-floor office, she’d let the steam cover her face, imagining it was him stroking her cheeks, her eyelids and she’d wait for the day to be over, so she could go to her apartment building, climb the flight of stairs, turn the key in the door, and find him waiting for her, naked and still between the sheets of her empty bed.“ The Girl on the Fridge

„He misses the feeling of creating something out of something. That’s right — something out of something. Because something out of nothing is when you make something up out of thin air, in which case it has no value. Anybody can do that. But something out of something means it was really there the whole time, inside you, and you discover it as part of something new, that’s never happened before.“ פתאום דפיקה בדלת

„I think she cried at my funeral. It's not that I'm conceited or anything, but I'm pretty sure. Sometimes I can actually picture her talking about me to some guy she feels close to. Talking about me dying. About how they lowered me into the grave, kind of shrivelled up and pitiful, like an old chocolate bar. About how we never really got a chance. And afterwards the guy fucks her, a fuck that's all about making her feel better.“ The Bus Driver Who Wanted To Be God

„Maybe in the general scheme of things he couldn't find any meaning in life, but on a smaller scale it was okay. Not always, but a lot of the time.“ The Girl on the Fridge

„You'll never know what's happening inside the heads of other people.“ The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God & Other Stories

„I have always thought that Heaven is a place for people who had had a good life, but that is not true. God is merciful and way too good to make it so. The Heaven is just a place for people who could not be really happy while living on Earth. I was once told that people who commit suicide are taken back on Earth to repeat life from the very beginning because if they did not like it once, it did not mean they would not like it the next time. But those who did not fit in on Earth at all, ended up here. Everyone comes to Heaven in their own way.“ The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God & Other Stories

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