„Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.“

—  Groucho Marx

As quoted in The Groucho Letters (1967) by Arthur Sheekman. The sentiment predates Marx by 61 years, however; it likely originated with John Galsworthy in The Forsyte Saga. In Part I, Chapter II, "Old Jolyon Goes to the Opera" http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/2559, it's said of Old Jolyon that, "He naturally despised the Club that did take him." after another refused him because he was in a trade.
Varianta: I sent the club a wire stating: «Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member».
Zdroj: Groucho and Me

„From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.“

—  Groucho Marx

To S J Perelman about his book Dawn Ginsbergh’s Revenge (1929), as quoted in LIFE (9 February 1962)

„I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.“

—  Groucho Marx

As quoted in Halliwell’s Filmgoer’s Companion (1984) by Leslie Halliwell
Varianta: I find TV very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.

„I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.“

—  Groucho Marx

Quote by Leo Rosten in The Many Worlds of Leo Rosten http://books.google.com/books?id=8FkwAAAAIAAJ&q=%22i+never+forget+a+face+but+in+your+case+i'll+be+glad+to+make+an+exception%22&pg=PA17#v=onepage (1964)

„Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.“

—  Groucho Marx

Apparently attributed to Marx in Bennett Cerf's Try and Stop Me, first published in 1944. A citation of this can been seen in the Kentucky New Era on November 9, 1964 http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=X-orAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ZWcFAAAAIBAJ&pg=4581,3323702&dq=art-of-looking-for-trouble&hl=en. Also attributed to Marx by Rand Paul in "The Long Stand," ch. 1 of Taking a Stand: Moving Beyond Partisan Politics to Unite America (New York, N. Y.: Center Street, 26 May 2015), p. 5.
The original quotation belongs to Sir Ernest Benn (Henry Powell Spring, What is Truth?, Orange Press, 1944, p. 31 https://books.google.com/books?id=snxbAAAAMAAJ&q=Ernest+benn+%22Politics+is+the+art+of%22&dq=Ernest+benn+%22Politics+is+the+art+of%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCMQ6AEwAjgUahUKEwiK3Zm-qojIAhWGVZIKHdFYBqY); a first known citation reportedly appears in the Springfield (MA) Republican on July 27, 1930.
Misattributed
Varianta: Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
Zdroj: Gyles Brandreth, Word Play: A cornucopia of puns, anagrams and other contortions and curiosities of the English language, Coronet, 2015.

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