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Jerome Klapka Jerome citáty
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Jerome Klapka Jerome byl anglický spisovatel a redaktor, známý zejména pro své humoristické povídky a cestopisy . Jeho nejznámějším dílem jsou Tři muži ve člunu a volné pokračování Tři muži na toulkách. Wikipedia  

✵ 2. květen 1859 – 14. červen 1927  •  Další jména Klapka Jerome Jerome, Джэром Клапка Джэром
Jerome Klapka Jerome foto
Jerome Klapka Jerome: 117 citátů386 lajků

Jerome Klapka Jerome nejznámější citáty

„Pijeme na cizí zdraví a ničíme se vlastní.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Pes je velmi neprozřetelný. Nikdy se nestará o to, máte-li pravdu nebo ne, neptá se, jste-li bohat či chud. Jste jeho kamarád… Drží se vás stále, aby vás potěšil, bděl nad vámi, a v krajním případě dal za vás i svůj život. Bláhový pes, bez rozumu a bez duše.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Třeba přiznat, že kočky mají víc světské chytrosti než psi - že mají více na mysli své vlastní zájmy a jsou méně slepě oddány zájmům svých přátel. Nás lidi přirozeně takové sobectví uráží.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Jedno dítě zabere ženě celý život. Pět nebo šest dětí zdaleka nevyžaduje tolik péče jako jedno.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

Jerome Klapka Jerome: Citáty o ženách

„Rozum v manželském stavu se uplatňuje je s přiměřenou srážkou. Není po něm poptávky, ba ani není ceněn. Naše ženy nás oceňují podle svého měřítka, v němž skvělý intelekt není nijak zvlášť vyznačen.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Ženy nikdy nečtou humoristických časopisů nebo, když je čtou, nevědí, že jsou humoristické, nikdo jim toho nepoví.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Ostýchaví muži a nehezké ženy mají trpý úděl na tomto světě, kde je třeba hroší kůže, chce-li jím člověk projít s jakýmsi pohodlím. Tlustá kůže je věru naším mravním šatem. Bez něhož se nelze objevit v civilizované společnosti. Ubohý, udýchaný a zardívající se tvor s třesoucími se koleny a s nervózníma rukama je pro každého trapnou podívanou a ježto si neumí pomoci, čím dříve jde a pověsí se, tím lépe.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

Jerome Klapka Jerome: Citáty o pravdě

„Nejlepší politikou je mluvit vždy pravdu, pokud ovšem nejste mimořádně dobrý lhář.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Buďme ješitní, ne však na své kalhoty nebo vlasy, nýbrž na svá srdce, na své ruce, na pravdu, čistotu, ušlechtilost.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Bůh existovat musí. Hodiny prozrazují hodináře. Dokazovalo to hvězdné nebe nade mnou. Někdy – někde, nám bude Pravda vyjevena. Do té doby, co jiného člověk potřebuje v sobě mít než mravní zákon? Ten je jediným skutečným náboženstvím.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

Zdroj: [Jerome, K. Jerome, 2017, Čas mého života (My Life and Times), Vyšehrad, 256, čeština, 978- 80- 7429-802-8]

Jerome Klapka Jerome citáty a výroky

„Příležitosti jdou kolem, zatímco sedíme a litujeme ztracených možností…“

Jerome Klapka Jerome kniha Tři muži ve člunu

Originál: (en) Opportunities flit by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost…
Zdroj: [Jerome, K. Jerome, 2006, Jerome K. Jerome's 14 Books in 1: Three Men in a Boat, Three Men on the Bummel, Diary of a Pilgrimage, Novel Notes, Paul Kelver, Tommy and Co., They And. . .of an Idle Fellow, Shoes & Ships & Sealing Wax, 624, angličtina]

„Čisté svědomí činí člověka šťastným a spokojeným, ale plný žaludek to dokáže stejně tak dobře, a to levněji a snadněji.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Mluvit jako idiot, když idiot opravdu jste, nepřináší žádné znepokojení. Ale chovat se jako idiot, když člověk má dostatek rozumu na to, aby poznal, že se jako idiot opravdu chová je velmi nepříjemné.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Dobrý oběd probouzí vše, co je v muži něžnějšího. Jeho blahodárným vlivem se stávají ze zamračených bručounů bodří žvanilové.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Mnohým trampotám by se zabránilo, kdyby ti, co táhnou, měli pořád na paměti, že táhnou někoho, a často se ohlíželi, aby viděli, jak se tomu, co se veze, daří.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Láska je jako spalničky, všichni je musíme prodělat. Jako spalničky nás postihne také jen jednou. Netřeba se proto obávat, že nás zachvátí podruhé.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Velká filozofie nepřichází v manželství v úvahu.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Plný žaludek je silnou oporou básnictví, z prázdného žaludku sotvakdy vyklíčí nějaký cit.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Objevení tabáku bylo pro nás zahaleče, pravým požehnáním. Čím zaměstnával státní úředník svou mysl před časy Sira Waltera, to si věru těžko dovedu představit.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Čím horší má člověk vkus, tím tvrdošíjněji se ho drží.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

„Ješitnost je jedním z těch přírodních rysů, které svědčí o příbuznosti všech lidí.“

Jerome Klapka Jerome

Jerome Klapka Jerome: Citáty anglicky

“It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one. Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On Being Idle".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“A man rarely carries his shyness past the hobbledehoy period. Even if his own inward strength does not throw it off, the rubbings of the world generally smooth it down.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“And fighting the battle of life is fighting against fearful odds, too. There are giants and dragons in this nineteenth century, and the golden casket that they guard is not so easy to win as it appears in the story-books.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men — more so, if possible.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On Vanity and Vanities".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“A woman never thoroughly cares for her lover until he has ceased to care for her; and it is not until you have snapped your fingers in Fortune's face and turned on your heel that she begins to smile upon you.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“Too much of anything is a mistake, as the man said when his wife presented him with four new healthy children in one day. We should practice moderation in all matters.”

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Jerome K. Jerome

Dreams http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext97/jjdrm10.txt

“There are two kinds of clocks. There is the clock that is always wrong, and that knows it is wrong, and glories in it; and there is the clock that is always right — except when you rely upon it, and then it is more wrong than you would think a clock could be in a civilized country.”

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Jerome K. Jerome

Clocks http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext97/jjclk10.txt.

“There are the goods; if you want them, you can have them. If you do not want them, they would almost rather that you did not come and talk about them.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Three Men on the Bummel

Three Men on the Bummel (1900).

“I can understand the ignorant masses loving to soak themselves in drink—oh, yes, it's very shocking that they should, of course—very shocking to us who live in cozy homes, with all the graces and pleasures of life around us, that the dwellers in damp cellars and windy attics should creep from their dens of misery into the warmth and glare of the public-house bar, and seek to float for a brief space away from their dull world upon a Lethe stream of gin. But think, before you hold up your hands in horror at their ill-living, what "life" for these wretched creatures really means. Picture the squalid misery of their brutish existence, dragged on from year to year in the narrow, noisome room where, huddled like vermin in sewers, they welter, and sicken, and sleep; where dirt-grimed children scream and fight and sluttish, shrill-voiced women cuff, and curse, and nag; where the street outside teems with roaring filth and the house around is a bedlam of riot and stench. Think what a sapless stick this fair flower of life must be to them, devoid of mind and soul. The horse in his stall scents the sweet hay and munches the ripe corn contentedly. The watch-dog in his kennel blinks at the grateful sun, dreams of a glorious chase over the dewy fields, and wakes with a yelp of gladness to greet a caressing hand. But the clod-like life of these human logs never knows one ray of light. From the hour when they crawl from their comfortless bed to the hour when they lounge back into it again they never live one moment of real life. Recreation, amusement, companionship, they know not the meaning of. Joy, sorrow, laughter, tears, love, friendship, longing, despair, are idle words to them. From the day when their baby eyes first look out upon their sordid world to the day when, with an oath, they close them forever and their bones are shoveled out of sight, they never warm to one touch of human sympathy, never thrill to a single thought, never start to a single hope. In the name of the God of mercy; let them pour the maddening liquor down their throats and feel for one brief moment that they live!”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Tři muži ve člunu

Zdroj: Three Men in a Boat (1889), Ch. 10.

“Love is too pure a light to burn long among the noisome gases that we breathe, but before it is choked out we may use it as a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“If you would taste love, drink of the pure stream that youth pours out at your feet. Do not wait till it has become a muddy river before you stoop to catch its waves.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)
Kontext: It is well, dear ladies, for us old sinners that you study only books. Did you read mankind, you would know that the lad's shy stammering tells a truer tale than our bold eloquence. A boy's love comes from a full heart; a man's is more often the result of a full stomach. Indeed, a man's sluggish current may not be called love, compared with the rushing fountain that wells up when a boy's heart is struck with the heavenly rod. If you would taste love, drink of the pure stream that youth pours out at your feet. Do not wait till it has become a muddy river before you stoop to catch its waves.

“Nothing—so it seems to me…is more beautiful than the love that has weathered the storms of life. … The love of the young for the young, that is the beginning of life. But the love of the old for the old, that is the beginning of—of things longer.”

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Jerome K. Jerome

"The Passing of the Third Floor Back" (1908).

“I want a house that has got over all its troubles; I don't want to spend the rest of my life bringing up a young and inexperienced house.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha They and I

They and I (1909), Ch. 2.

“What between tipping the man who had brought us home, and paying for the broken sculls, and for having been out four hours and a half, it cost us a pretty considerable number of weeks’ pocket-money, that sail. But we learned experience, and they say that is always cheap at any price.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Tři muži ve člunu

Zdroj: Three Men in a Boat (1889), Ch. 15.

“Contented, unambitious people are all very well in their way. They form a neat, useful background for great portraits to be painted against, and they make a respectable, if not particularly intelligent, audience for the active spirits of the age to play before. I have not a word to say against contented people so long as they keep quiet.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On Getting On in the World".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“I attribute the quarrelsome nature of the Middle Ages young men entirely to the want of the soothing weed.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On Being Idle".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“It always is wretched weather according to us. The weather is like the government — always in the wrong. In summer-time we say it is stifling; in winter that it is killing; in spring and autumn we find fault with it for being neither one thing nor the other and wish it would make up its mind…We shall never be content until each man makes his own weather and keeps it to himself.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On the Weather".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“Tears are as sweet as laughter to some natures.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“Conceit is the finest armor that a man can wear. Upon its smooth, impenetrable surface the puny dagger-thrusts of spite and envy glance harmlessly aside. Without that breast-plate the sword of talent cannot force its way through the battle of life, for blows have to be borne as well as dealt.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On Being Shy".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“There have been a good many funny things said and written about hardupishness, but the reality is not funny, for all that. It is not funny to have to haggle over pennies. It isn't funny to be thought mean and stingy. It isn't funny to be shabby and to be ashamed of your address. No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty — to the poor.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On Being Hard Up".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“No, there is nothing at all funny in poverty—to the poor. It is hell upon earth to a sensitive man; and many a brave gentleman who would have faced the labors of Hercules has had his heart broken by its petty miseries.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“They say — people who ought to be ashamed of themselves do — that the consciousness of being well dressed imparts a blissfulness to the human heart that religion is powerless to bestow. I am afraid these cynical persons are sometimes correct.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

"On Dress and Deportment".
Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“But if we look a little deeper we shall find there is a pathetic, one might almost say a tragic, side to the picture. A shy man means a lonely man—a man cut off from all companionship, all sociability. He moves about the world, but does not mix with it. Between him and his fellow-men there runs ever an impassable barrier—a strong, invisible wall that, trying in vain to scale, he but bruises himself against. He sees the pleasant faces and hears the pleasant voices on the other side, but he cannot stretch his hand across to grasp another hand. He stands watching the merry groups, and he longs to speak and to claim kindred with them. But they pass him by, chatting gayly to one another, and he cannot stay them. He tries to reach them, but his prison walls move with him and hem him in on every side. In the busy street, in the crowded room, in the grind of work, in the whirl of pleasure, amid the many or amid the few—wherever men congregate together, wherever the music of human speech is heard and human thought is flashed from human eyes, there, shunned and solitary, the shy man, like a leper, stands apart. His soul is full of love and longing, but the world knows it not. The iron mask of shyness is riveted before his face, and the man beneath is never seen. Genial words and hearty greetings are ever rising to his lips, but they die away in unheard whispers behind the steel clamps. His heart aches for the weary brother, but his sympathy is dumb. Contempt and indignation against wrong choke up his throat, and finding no safety-valve whence in passionate utterance they may burst forth, they only turn in again and harm him. All the hate and scorn and love of a deep nature such as the shy man is ever cursed by fester and corrupt within, instead of spending themselves abroad, and sour him into a misanthrope and cynic.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“Contented, unambitious people are all very well in their way. They form a neat, useful background for great portraits to be painted against, and they make a respectable, if not particularly intelligent, audience for the active spirits of the age to play before.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“But by that time you do not much care whether she smiles or frowns. Why could she not have smiled when her smiles would have filled you with ecstasy? Everything comes too late in this world.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

“How you would watch her, spaniel-like, to anticipate her slightest wish! How proud you were to do her bidding! How delightful it was to be ordered about by her! To devote your whole life to her and to never think of yourself seemed such a simple thing. You would go without a holiday to lay a humble offering at her shrine, and felt more than repaid if she only deigned to accept it.”

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Jerome K. Jerome kniha Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886)

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