Stephen Leacock citáty

„Po pivu se teprve člověk cítí, jak by se měl cítit před pivem.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Přátele si vybíráme, příbuzní jsou nám dáni.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Věřím ve štěstí. Čím víc se snažím, tím víc ho mám.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Nevýnosnější obchod: kupovat lidi, zač stojí, a prodávat je, zač si sami sebe cení.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Rodič, který by byl schopen vidět své dítě tak, jaké skutečně je, by potřásl hlavou a řekl: "Vilík nestojí za nic, prodáme ho!"“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Žena si ze všeho nejvíc přeje prostor, aby se mohla rozvíjet a růst. Nejhorší na světě je trpět omezeností a nic neomezuje člověka tak, jako omezený manžel.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Reklamu lze popsat jako vědu o zadržování lidské inteligence tak dlouho, dokud nepřinese peníze.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Advertising - A judicious mixture of flattery and threats.“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.“

—  Stephen Leacock

"Gertrude the Governess", Nonsense Novels (1911)

„I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it“

—  Stephen Leacock

„Special Correspondence. I learn from a very high authority, whose name I am not at liberty to mention, (speaking to me at a place which I am not allowed to indicate and in a language which I am forbidden to use)—that Austria-Hungary is about to take a diplomatic step of the highest importance. What this step is, I am forbidden to say. But the consequences of it—which unfortunately I am pledged not to disclose—will be such as to effect results which I am not free to enumerate.“

—  Stephen Leacock

The Hohenzollerns in America (1919)

„I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

Insurance up to Date
Literary Lapses (1910)

„The Lord said "Let there be wheat" and Saskatchewan was born.“

—  Stephen Leacock

My Discovery of America (1937)

„With the thermometer at 30 below zero and the wind behind him, a man walking on Main Street in Winnipeg knows which side of him is which.“

—  Stephen Leacock

My Discovery of the West (1937)j

„Of course, Pupkin would never have thought of considering himself on an intellectual par with Mallory Tompkins. That would have been ridiculous. Mallory Tompkins had read all sorts of things and had half a mind to write a novel himself—either that or a play. All he needed, he said, was to have a chance to get away somewhere by himself and think. Every time he went away to the city Pupkin expected that he might return with the novel all finished; but though he often came back with his eyes red from thinking, the novel as yet remained incomplete.“

—  Stephen Leacock, kniha Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town

Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town (1912)

„It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

Reflections on Riding
Literary Lapses (1910)

„The rushing of his spirit from its prison-house was as rapid as a hunted cat passing over a garden fence.“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

Literary Lapses (1910)

„You know, many a man realizes late in life that if when he was a boy he had known what he knows now, instead of being what he is he might be what he won't; but how few boys stop to think that if they knew what they don't know instead of being what they will be, they wouldn't be?“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

How to Make a Million Dollars
Literary Lapses (1910)

„You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.“

—  Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses

The Poet Answered
Literary Lapses (1910)