Henry Louis Mencken citáty

strana 5

„Láska je vítězství fantazie nad inteligencí.“

„Člověk, který se umí smát, i když jen sám sobě, není nikdy opravdu nešťastný.“

„Lidský život je v podstatě komedie.“

„Filozof je slepec v temné místnosti, který hledá černou kočku, která tam není. Teolog je člověk, který ji najde.“

„Láska je jako válka. Snadno se začíná, ale těžce končí.“

„Cizoložství je aplikace demokracie na lásku.“

„Láska je přelud, že se jedna žena liší od druhé.“

„Láska je jako válka: je jednoduché ji začít, ale nesmírně náročné ji ukončit.“

„Muži jsou na tom líp než ženy. Zaprvé vstupují do manželství později, za druhé dřív umírají.“

„Když se ženy líbají, musím vždy myslet na boxery, kteří si podávají ruce před utkáním.“

„Jediní opravdu šťastní lidé jsou vdané ženy a svobodní muži.“

„Až pocit odpovědnosti člověka mučí, zároveň ho žene, aby dosáhl nemožné.“

„Ženy nenávidí revoluci a revolucionáře. Mají rády muže poddajné, kteří jsou vážení v bance a nechodí nikdy pozdě k obědu.“

„Každý problém má své řešení, které je prosté, jasné a mylné.“

„Demagog je člověk, který káže doktrínu, o níž ví, že je špatná, lidem, o nichž ví, že jsou to hlupáci.“

„Dobrý politik je něco tak nemyslitelného jako čestný lupič.“

„Každý normální muž musí být čas od času v pokušení plivnout si do dlaní, vyvěsit černý prapor a dát se do podřezávání krků.“

„Svědomí je vnitřní hlas, který nás upozorňuje, že se někdo dívá.“

„Každý považuje své příbuzné za groteskní karikatury své osoby.“

„Život je boj, ne však proti hříchu, ani proti síle peněz, ani proti zlovolnému živočišnému magnetizmu, ale proti vodíkovým iontům.“

“Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.”

“Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.”

“Religion is a conceited effort to deny the most obvious realities.”

“Creator — A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.”

“Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.”

“American journalism (like the journalism of any other country) is predominantly paltry and worthless. Its pretensions are enormous, but its achievements are insignificant.”

“Sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.”

“Judge — A law student who marks his own examination-papers.”

“To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!”

“Penetrating so many secrets, we cease to believe in the unknowable. But there it sits nevertheless, calmly licking its chops”

“Historian — An unsuccessful novelist.”

“I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.”

“Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.”

“If the average man is made in God's image, then such a man as Beethoven oris plainly superior to God….”

“Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”

“It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.”

“The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.”

“Public opinion, in its raw state, gushes out in the immemorial form of the mob's fear. It is piped into central factories, and there it is flavoured and coloured and put into cans.”

“Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.”

“The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.”

“Perhaps the most revolting character that the United States ever produced was the Christian Businessman.”

“If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder.”

“The central belief of every moron is that he is the victim of a mysterious conspiracy against his common rights and true deserts.”

“Theology — An effort to explain the unknowable by putting it into terms of the not worth knowing.”

“After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.”

“Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.”

“Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of a dilemma.”

“The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.”

“I believe that it is better to tell the truth than to lie. I believe that it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe that it is better to know than be ignorant.”